“We had to move on. And to do that, some things would have to be left behind. When such times come, we need not feel sad, nor guilty, nor cling to old things. All we need to do is feel grateful.”
Time rushes by, people walk past — only memories remain, fading away. Into nothingness? What remains when pictures become grey? Is their life gone, all traces of the drawings lost?
We may not remember them clearly: The faces of friends, the days spent together, the excursions we’ve done. Sometimes, a shimmering spark lights up a long-forgotten memory. Only then, we realise: It still exists, buried beneath all those new emotions.
We don’t lose any of them. They make up our very beings. How come we don’t realise their existence anymore?
All too many new pictures race by our selves, all looking for a comfortable place inside those limited minds. New worries, new pain, new hope, all spreading throughout our beings, squeezing the memories into a dusty, old corner. Focus it is which is hiding the past.
Without focus on present and future, we would lose ourselves, not see the colours vividly emanated by the creatures around us. But the experiences of the past are the sculptors of our very souls.
In a moment of calm, we sometimes realise our actions are not without reason — past experiences guide us. However, most of the time, we fail to realise how strong the traces of these carvings remain in our souls.
A painful sting, an unexpected reaction to an idiosyncratic statement, a fleeing friend after a discussion which took a quirky turn — all these make us wary, fearsome of repeating the loss, fleeing another confrontation. While we may not realise, each loss has primed our present behaviour.
Hunting for happiness, striving for the sunlight — we race towards the blinding light, the glorious emotion we’ve once felt long ago, grabbing it with all the fibres of our selves. Past feelings may cause addiction to experience the same emotion once more.
Even though our mind does not remember, our heart and soul always do.
Once in a while, close your eyes. Do away with all the present noise, chase away all the fear and hope for the future — slowly turn back the wheel of time in your mind. Do you remember the days long gone? Don’t look for the faces, the exact places, landscapes or timestamps in the calendar of life.
Focus purely on the colours, emotions and past feelings. Let them in, take a hold of you again, and you will clearly see: The past is not gone, it is right there. Trace all the silver linings and the scars it has left on your heart with all its might. Breathe in the colours you thought were gone, and realise: these are your colours, guiding you in the present and future.
They are yours, and they are you. They are not only the colours of the past, but also the colours tinging your present and future. Let them guide you, and don’t lose yourself in reminiscence about a past long gone — be grateful and embrace the future.